baru ngerasain yang namanya idup d kos-kosan

rasanya? Hmmm....bosen di kamar ga bisa ngapa ngapain.. Pengen ini itu tapi ga bisa.. Mungkin kmaren kmaren terlalu hiperaktif juga kali yaa? Untungnya ini ngekos sekamar ber3..hahahahaha...

Ntar pemilu kudu pulang!!! Ayo mari kita memilih untuk bangsa dan tanah air!!!!hihi..

hiks

sebel.. hari sabtu malah di rumah... hiks.. coba aja ada yang ngapel *halah

oaaaaa... pengen ikut nyampah ma anak2!!!!!

im laying in bed instead... *sigh

dull..

just so you know

I know it, you know it as well
no need to say it, but i'm going to anyway
I miss you, you know that
well I didn't say I want to go back
It's just hard to put another box
put it on the corner and get it locked
I know I'll get through this one day
I did it in the past so it's gonna be done someday
Clueless of what may come
I can only focus on what I should overcome
That's why we have this brain
filing the memories eventhough in pain,
just so you know.

when will I start?

I said I wanted to do this
I said I wanted to do that
too much this and that
ended up doing nothing
just thinking
thinking bout too many things to do
just thinking
yea, stupid..

so.. when will I start doing something??

when??

ready.. set.. go!

beli baju baru buat kerja.. hwihihi... im employed!

paper: senin

proposal: selasa

kerja: senin

dokter: selasa

karaoke: ...

nonton: ...

ngopi: ...

ready.. set.. go!

i wish

I wish I could help him..

hari ini

Apa ajeng yang tambah semakin lemah, atau memang masalah belakangan ini selalu menumpuk?

Mungkin memang ajeng semakin lemah..

Hari ini,

Biro arsitek yang saya dapatkan (P.T. Penta) hanya mengijinkan saya untuk bisa KP selama 3 bulan. 2 bulan full time masuk tanpa izin dan pada bulan ke-3 saya boleh bolong-bolong. Tetap saja, saya sangat merasa tidak aman. Saya takut proposal saya bermasalah lagi untuk TA depan. Saya bingung. Ajeng bingung.

Ingin cerita, tinggal tersisa Bang Dory.. hehe.. Ibu pusing mikirin kerjaan, dino jarang cerita, ayah di Padang, teman2 sibuk TA, ada juga yang sibuk magang di Urbane.

Setidaknya, barusan dino memberi satu piring Ring-O. Makasih..

Kemarin,

Ketika saya sangat terpuruk, saya hanya bisa sendiri, saya tidak mau merepotkan orang lain, ya, karena alasan yang sudah saya bilang tadi.


Esok,

Saya ingin berharap langit esok cerah, tak berawan, tak ada hujan, petir apalagi badai.

what I need to doesn't mean I want to

I really want to say this: "This is it, then.."

Oh, if only I have enough courage and such big heart

gak ngeh

Baru saja disadarkan oleh seseorang. Saya sering menyakiti orang dengan kata-kata saya tanpa saya sadari. Tapi, sebetulnya saya tahu. Saya dapat itu dari Ibu saya, gen menurun. Like Mother Like Daughter. Penyakit ini, lebih parahnya lagi, saya lakukan terhadap orang yang sangat saya sayangi: Ibu saya sendiri, dan pacar saya. Seringkali saya bertengkar dengan ibu saya. Umumnya dan seringnya dipacu oleh kata-kata saya yang tidak saya sadari bahwa itu menyakitkan atau menyinggung perasaan. Ibu saya sendiri, dia juga memiliki sifat mudah tersinggung. Maka terjadilah semua pertengkaran di rumah ini. Orang-orang yang saling sayang bertengkar.

Pacar. Saya menyakiti dia dengan kata-kata yang tidak saya sadari. Terkadang bahkan tidak saya maknai. Berbicara tanpa berpikir. Lalu datanglah kata-kata yang pedas dari dia. Orang-orang yang saling sayang bertengkar lagi. Untuk hal yang satu ini, masih saya ragukan. Apa betul dia begitu?

"Floating"

I hate you
Left alone in the dark
You hate me
All those words stabbing my heart
I love you
Don't let us fall apart

Keep asking to myself,
tho you have the answer

Are we in trouble?
Don't let me wonder
I'm so in love with you
But I just can't reach you

Let it stay
Don't care even when it hurts
Then you'll pay
You come and beg for forgiveness
Suddenly you stay
Once again I hope, so just be honest

Keep asking to myself,
but you have the answer

Are we in trouble?
Don't let me wonder
I'm so in love with you
But I'm losing my faith in you

Staring at you staring out the window
Wonder what is today's show
Same people same background?
Or should I pull the curtain down?

Can't stop asking to myself
I get even more confused

Are we in trouble?
Don't let me wonder
I'm so in love with you
But I'm losing my faith in you

So tell me..

10.32pm 17.05.2008 @home

"Thinking positive" itu dekat dengan "Hoping too much a.k.a. High expectation"
So now I'm floating.. it's not as if I'm happy.. it's that I'm not sure, going up and laugh out loud, or going down and scream out loud...

blahs

Sometimes I use this excuse: He's younger than me. So that I could think to myself that all he is doing is just impulsive and, of course, selfish. What do I get? Learn to be more and more patient. Try to hold on and handle all those obstacles. This is life anyway (I often say this to myself, to remind me that this is not a wonderland). Anyway, stay positive. Why don't I see how many times I let him down?

I give too much love. Why can't he just accept that? In fact, he should be happy with it, right?

Left alone wondering why? Why oh why? What have I done this time?

Men need their own time alone with their toys, with their boys, withOUT me.

Maybe he doesn't in too deep. So, the options are:
a. drag him deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeper
b. drag him deeeeeeeeeeper
c. drag him deeper
d. let him be himself

Let it go, let it go..

breathe..

Owh Puhleeeezzz.....

Oh God, NOOOOO! just a few months until the new semester.. (FYI, I didn't continue my final project. So I'm planning on doing it next semester). I got only 31/2 months to finish all these:

1. Paper work for Artepolis 2 (upcoming international seminar held by my department)

2. Apprentice for at least 2 months in Architecture Firm (too scared to apply)

3. Proposal for the next final project (how am i gonna do this? one semester seminar should be done in a month??? one fuckin month!)

saya pusiinggg pusing tujuh keliliiiingg.. oh astagaaaaaaa.....


PS: my boyfriend and I are okay now..*grin*

arsitek

saya mau jadi ibu rumah tangga yang mengurusi anak, mengajari anak perempuan saya cara merajut, menjahit, memfoto, membatik, melukis, dan cinta.

saya ingin memiliki gelar arsitek tapi saya tidak ingin menjadi arsitek.. untuk saat ini tidak.. lelah.. saya ingin retire.. seandainya saya bisa retire dari program s1 di ITB ini..

Capek..

yang, kamu dimana? maafin ajeng ya yang... Trisna, maafin Ajeng.. maaf...

kamu dimana? ajeng kangen.....

yeye..

"I'm a super girl!", that's my current shout out on friendster. But is that really what I feel like? I mean, feeling like I'm a super girl? I don't know actually. Sometimes we ought to say things to make ourselves believe the things that we thought were wrong but instead it might be right. You know, that sort of things.

I feel like eating cheese now.. I have mozarella and cherry tomatoes but no olive oil.. too bad.. aaahh..

the world's top 10 most liveable cities

yea, just see it here.

sing, baby sing!

yea, I do, sing a lot

yea, I do, use the speakers

yea, I do, use headphones

yea, I love music

aint a waste of time..

I can't.. No, I'm in red!

this time, when you could know something, you chose not to, because you can't. and you live with uncertainty.

this time, when you could be happy and smiling a lot, you chose not to, because you can't. and you stop.

this time, when you could be in love, you run away, because you can't. why I can't? you all know the reason..

instead of being in an absolute joy, being in an absolute grief.. because I can't

instead of being in blue, being in red is better.. a whole lot better.. and i'm feeling red now..

*what's red by the way?*.. lol.. I don't care.. as long as it's red, i'd love it anyway.. and who cares?

and what's that pic there doing? nothing.. I just wanna share it with you guys.. twas taken in venice

by the time we have nothing to do

ada yang seneng gambar2? baru menemukan situs lucu buat yang pengen belajar fashion design.. di www.fashionclub.com lumayan ada ajaran2 dasar.. hehe.. yaa.. ngisi waktu liburan lah. hehehe....

pelangi

kupetik sebuah apel, kupetik sebuah jeruk, dan kupetik sebuah mangga. Buah yang paling mudah dimakan ya si apel, tinggal digigit saja. Si jeruk dan mangga ku taro di keranjang. Ku pandangi seluruh kebun, semua pohon tertawa padaku, kupandangi rumput, dan mereka menengadah mengintimidasiku. Kupandangi awan, dan semuanya tidak memperdulikanku. Kucermati tetes hujan.. satu-satunya hal yang bisa melebur denganku.. yang toleran denganku.. terima kasih untuk tetes air mataku..

Apel itu tidak membantu apa-apa. Jeruk dan Mangga juga hanya memberatkan bawaanku saja. Kukira dengan mencoba itu semua, aku bisa tumbuh dan bahagia..tapi memang sungguh sulit menemukan kebahagiaan itu..

hingga ku sanggup pandangi horison dan mencari pelangi..aku menunggu pelangi..

its a problem

so far i'm losing myself... I don't recognize the soul inside this body, the thoughts this brain produced and every feeling this heart exhale.. as if..

this and that and broken and happy and naive and stupid and ruthless and fucked up and clueless and ....

i shout and scream and do what i want.. for all this time these seem to be me and careless for being abandoned and pain for being left alone..

emotionally troubled and heart attack and scary and flame and crazy and everything just turns out to be a bit disappointing..

lack of interest in finding proton..

why is it so hard to tame my heart?
why is it too easy to be this crazy?

lack of self-control..